The French Mistake 2
by DialogueOnly
Summary: The Winchesters, Cas, and Gabriel are thrown back into a world where they star on a TV show called "Supernatural." This time, instead of filming the show, they have to do a fan convention. Dean doesn't really make a good Jensen, Sam does an alright Jared, Cas lets his inner Misha out, and there is no difference between Gabriel and Richard. Some dirty jokes. Dialogue only!
1. Waking Up

Dean: "Sam! It's five in the morning! What are you doing?!"

Sam: "I woke up in a fancy hotel room. With Ruby next to me. Calling me Jared. Remember that time Balthazar threw us in a TV show? Well, I think we managed to get back into it."

Dean: "You're kidding, right?"

Sam: "Look around! Does this look like the bunker?!"

Dean: "Who's knocking? Where's my gun?!"

Gabriel: "Guys, it's me. And Cas. Open the door."

Gabriel: "So, can anyone explain what is happening?"

Sam: "Long story short- we've been thrown into an alternate reality. Our lives? All just a plot on a show. I'm Jared Padalecki, Dean is Jensen Ackles, and Cas is Misha something. Sorry Gabe, but there's no name for you."

Castiel: "Misha? So you're saying I have to speak in a Russian accent."

Dean: "No. You can speak like a normal Amer-"

Intern #1: "Guys! I don't know why you're all gathered in Jensen's room, nor do I have a key for some reason, but remember! You have a convention tomorrow!"

Sam: "Convention? We didn't have to do a convention last time! What is that, like Comic Con or something?"

Dean: "Nerd."

Castiel: "We could look it up on the interline. I'm sure it could help explain a lot, as well as tell us my surname and Gabriel's name in general."

Sam: "Alright, so get this. Gabriel, your name is Richard Speight, Jr. You and some guy named Rob Benedict are known as the 'Kings of Con' and also you and someone named Matt Cohen are the 'Karaoke Kings'. Plus, you have your own church- 'Church of the Holy Dick.' Cas, you're Misha Collins. You basically just stand there making jokes that shouldn't be funny but are while keeping a straight face. All of this applies to a convention, which is where fans ask us questions and we answer, usually in a comedic way and occasionally we break into song. We also do meet and greets, photo ops, and autographs."

Gabriel: "I think I actually did a porno with that name."

Dean: "Alright, very nice. But how are we supposed to do this? I suck at singing, all of your jokes suck, Cas doesn't understand anything, and Gabe just gets annoying after awhile! How is this going to work out?"

Sam: "I don't know, but either way- we have to figure it out. We have to do this for an entire weekend."

Dean: "Great. Just great. Are there at least any videos we could watch, see how these people do it?"

Sam: "There are. A lot. I would take a seat."

Dean: "Great. So Cas has to learn how to be hilarious, Gabe has to be best friends with Chuck and dad from when he was young, you have to wear horrible scarves and beanies, and I don't even know how to describe myself!"

Gabriel: "Boring, quiet, slow with jokes, pointle-hey! I was just describing Jensen Ackles, not you! Well, actually, that's a lie. I was describing you. Jensen is actually likable!"

Dean: "I can make Sam leave you with one word, you know that?"

Intern #1: "Guys! Yelling through the door is getting annoying! You really need to get me a key, Jensen! Either way, there have been major changes to this weekend's schedule! There was a problem at the airport, and now almost everyone is gone! It's basically you four, plus Rob, Sebastian, and both Marks! But hey, at least Jared's here! I'll slide the new schedule under the door!"

Sam: "Alright, so it's us, Chuck, Balthazar, Crowley, and Lucifer. This seems like it could be interesting."


	2. Jensen and Misha

Castiel (in the voice of Misha): "Ladies, gents, neithers, and inbetweeners- Jensen Ackles!"

Dean: "Misha Collins, everybody!"

Castiel: "It is so good to be back at JIBCon! Don't tell anyone in the states, but you guys are our favorites."

Dean: "Yeah, what he said."

Castiel: "So, should we do some questions?"

Dean: "Let's go. Where do we start?"

Castiel: "Let's start with you. Hi. What's your question?"

Fan #1: "I was wondering, if you bring back the original trench coat, would you?"

Dean: "Yes. Definitely."

Castiel: "Really? You liked it that much?"

Dean: "I loved the original trench coat!"

Castiel: "I think it's nice, the whole change. There should be an episode where Sam and Dean just take him shopping, and let him finally wear something that isn't what he's been wearing for the past seven years. Is that all?"

Fan #1: "Yes, thank you so much."

Fan #2: "First, I want to say, welcome back to Rome!"

Castiel: "Thank you! It's great to be back."

Fan #2: "Secondly, I love both of you so much, especially you Misha!"

Castiel: "How weird! Jensen said that exact same thing to me earlier!"

Fan #2: "Um, even though these questions aren't really allowed, I was wondering- do you think Destiel could ever become canon?"

Dean: "I'll let you take this one Ca- Misha. Misha."

Castiel: "You see, I think that Cas and Dean do share a 'profound bond' which is reflected on screen, but there are so many ships out there between Destiel and Megstiel and Wincest and Disa that it's best for everyone to let the fans read into everything the way they would like. It's better to have a variety of options, compared to one thing set in stone. Does that make sense? So yeah. Destiel may not ever become official, but let's be honest here. That's a lot of eye contact for two 'friends.'"

Dean: "Well alright, next question."

Fan #3: "My question is for Jensen. On the show, every soul has their own personal Heaven. What do you think Dean's is?"

Dean: "You really think Dean is getting into Heaven?"

Castiel: "Well, he is The Righteous Man. And he has aided angels and served Heaven. I'm sure he could get in at this point."

Dean: "I don't know what my, or Dean's, Heaven would be. Maybe it would just be driving Baby, listening to Metallica, with Sam next to him? Or maybe it's doing something normal. Like grocery shopping in a place that isn't a Gas 'n' Sip. Like just being normal in general. That could be my Heaven."

Castiel: "You mean Dean's?"

Dean: "Uh, yeah. Of course. I'm off today, sorry."

Fan #4: "Do you know if Dean kept the 'Casa Erotica 13' movie that Gabriel was in?"

Dean: "Dean did not keep the movie. Nope. He had the original, he didn't need to Gabe version."

Castiel: "Besides, let's be honest- Sam kept it. Any Sabriel fans here?"

Castiel: "Who's idea was that? I mean, he's the angel of purity. Who put him in a 'Casa Erotica' movie?"

Dean: "Everyone on this show is going to Hell for that exact reason."

Fan #5: "Bed, wed, and behead: Crowley, Abbadon, and Gabriel. Who would your characters pick?"

Castiel: "Bed, wed, and behead? I like that. Well anyways, this one is easy. Gabriel is Cas's brother, so he's being beheaded. Abbadon is very attractive, or was very attractive. So, bed. And Crowley seems like a fun guy. He could probably teach Castiel a lot. Wed Crowley."

Dean: "That didn't even take you two seconds, wow. Okay then. Um, I agree with Misha here on the whole Abbadon being attractive thing. She did really well with her vessel. Dean would bed her too. I feel like Dean would want to behead Gabe because of Mystery Spot, but at the same time he wouldn't want to marry Crowley. You know what? He seems interesting enough. Behead Gabe, find a way to bring back to life so Dean could behead him again, bed Abbadon, and do non-stop drunk karaoke with his new husband, Crowley."

Castiel: "Can you give us a peak of this non-stop drunk karaoke? This isn't The Office! Stop looking at the camera like that!"

Dean: "Maybe I'll do a bit of karaoke later. I'll join Louden Swan."

Fans: "Swain!"

Dean: "Louden Swain? That's a weird name."

Castiel: "Did you not know that they were called that? You've been working with them for years."

Dean: "I'm sorry, again. Like I said, I'm really off today."

Castiel: "It's probably all the drugs you've been doing."


	3. Rob and Rich Panel

Rob: "I don't know about you Rich, but I want to get straight to questions."

Gabriel: "That sounds perfect, Robby, but one thing before you do that- we've been handed a pillow with a pillowcase of Jared, Jensen, Mark, and Misha on it. We've been told to give it to whoever asks the best question. So, basically, ask a good question and you'll get to sleep with the Supernatural cast."

Rob: "Jokes on you, I get to sleep with Rich and I don't even need to ask questions."

Gabriel: "He's telling the truth. We were actually thinking of releasing a behind the scenes film on our little rendezvous."

Rob: "Our wives won't let us."

Gabriel: "We had names for it and everything!"

Rob: "For example, we had 'God is Cumming.'"

Gabriel: "'The Erection of the Cross.'"

Rob: "'Kings of Cu-.' We're getting bad looks from behind the curtain. We should probably stop."

Gabriel: "So questions!"

Fan #1: "Oh, um..."

Rob: "Top that."

Gabriel: "That actually was another name! Okay sorry. What was your question?"

Fan #1: "Rob, I love you so, so, much!"

Gabriel: "We have so much in common!"

Fan #1: "But my question is for Richard. Is it true that you literally just stand around on set even though you haven't been on the show in years?"

Gabriel: "This is true. I don't want them to forget about me or my character. More importantly though, I do Jared's hair before scenes. He doesn't like it, and neither does the hair department, but I do."

Rob: "It's kind of sad, actually. He has to come in disguises now just to get past security."

Gabriel: "That's actually why they killed my character off! Because they thought it would finally make me leave! I'm still here, mother effers!"

Fan #2: "You just said literally the perfect thing. I wanted to ask why you censor yourself and say 'effers'? Sorry, Rob!"

Gabriel: "Well, as you can tell from our earlier conversation, this is a family establishment. We want it to stay a place where you can bring your young kids, without worrying about things like F-bombs."

Rob: "You only have to worry about them asking what's the difference between regular films and adult films."

Fan #3: "I asked Misha and Jensen this, and I changed it up a bit for you two. So bed, wed, and behead- Sam, Dean, and Castiel. Who would your characters choose?"

Rob: "Bed Cas, wed Sam, behead Dean."

Gabriel: "Did you plan this out beforehand?"

Rob: "Maybe."

Gabriel: "Well okay then. This is hard, because I'm sure Gabriel wants nothing more than to kill Dean again. But will force him to live a life of incest. Not really preferred by an angel. So, behead Cas."

Fans: "Marry Sam!"

Gabriel: "I feel like Gabriel would actually enjoy a relationship with Dean more. Who am I kidding? Behead Cas. Wed Sam. Bed Dean. Multiple times."

Rob: "What was your question for Jensen and Misha?"

Fan #3: "Crowley, Abbadon, and Gabriel."

Gabriel: "What did they say?"

Fan #3: "They both killed you."

Gabriel: "Wow. I feel betrayed."

Fan #3: "Jensen also pronounced Louden Swain like Louden Swan."

Rob: "Thank you so much for telling me! I'll be sure to bring this up."

Gabriel: "Really? Over Crowley?"

Rob: "Rich, get over it. One is Gabriel's brother and the other has been killed by him multiple times. It makes sense that they don't like him."

Gabriel: "I'm still offended."

Fan #4: "If it makes you feel better Rich, I would always bed you."

Gabriel: "Guess who gets the pillow!"

Fan #4: "Thank you! My question is for both of you. Who's your OTP?"

Gabriel: "Sabriel."

Rob: "Whatever Rich and I are called. Beight? Dickdict? Robard?"

Gabriel: "I change my answer to Dickdict."


End file.
